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Coffee on an Empty Stomach

by Pretty Lousy

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1.
I'm not going to take a shower today. Something to do with my mood. Today being Sunday, I just feel like wasting away and besides I just bring you down anyway. I'm not going to change my shirt for days. It fits me really well and, yea, so do the stains. I'm tired of dressing to impress, I think I'll give it a rest. And besides, it's not like you notice when I'm a mess. I'm not going to clean the van for days. I've got no desire or ambition to drive any place. Completely out of cash and almost out of gas. And besides, your trash suits me well anyway. I'm not going to ask you out today. A little too afraid that you might turn me away. So instead I'll become more acquainted with the fuzz that grows on my face. It's like us, it just sucks and it never connects in any of the right places.
2.
I'd rather cut my hair short in winter. I'd rather just break off and lose all of my fingers. I'd rather bite my tongue than admit to my love. I'd rather just stay home than have to walk back alone. I try my best to keep up with the times but it just leaves me out of breath and a little too far behind. I tried to make good on my debt but that shit will extend long after we're all dead. And I love to see you, but these days I work too much. I've written too many songs about how I like you too much and I admit that I've been sad but I know it's not goodbye forever. I'll keep working on my plans to stay ahead of the weather. You're bleeding through your clothes. A bandage that should have been changed weeks ago.
3.
I watched my love fade. I felt weak. I fell to the floor. And now I just lay, I keep my eyes on the ceiling as the stains from the rain construct maps to where I will die. Oh god, I've become all I hate and you go your own way without me in your life.
4.
Don't call me when it's time to leave because you know me--I can't take it. I've never been more proud than on the night you told me you were leaving. I never felt more lost or scared to tell you how I'm feeling. We don't have to be anything more or less. I just hope I'm still your favorite because you'll always be my friend. I've never been more proud. Coffee on an empty stomach.
5.
I think about death. Your eyes watching the snow all night. Up drinking way past your bedtime. And they swore it would all be all right but that's what they said the last time. You give me more than I deserve. Your love is more than I deserve.
6.
7.
I understand now where we stand now. It's a different place with more space between our hands. I'm feeling better. A little less afraid. I wrote you letters for each of my mistakes. And now you're on your way back to New England and I'm on my way back to feeling alone. But if you called me and I asked you, would you tell me a story about how you wish that I was there?
8.
I thought about you for the first time in a long while when I saw your photos from your move to Portland. Every time I'm downtown, I pass by the old apartment on Couch and Catherine where we used to hang out every night in college. Before we moved on. Snowball fights on our way to buy 40's. We'd watch The OC and get drunk with Mike, John, Graig and Juli. In the afternoons, I'd sit in your bedroom while you asked me questions concerning English Lit and Canadian fiction while I accused your ferrets of eating my shoes. I recall a conversation from when I was on tour with Chris, the night before we left for Providence. You met me in Ithaca for tea and Thai food on the commons to find some common ground in a friendship strained by distance and my affections based in sound. They still ring loud, but you can't hear them now. They still ring loud, but you can't hear me now.
9.
Most days it takes everything that I have...

about

For the Kid in the Back's third full-length record.

credits

released April 27, 2013

Shannon Stott played violin.

Additional vocals by Christopher Rigsbee and Sarah Mundy.

Written and recorded between September 2012 and March 2013. Recorded by Justin Passino. Mastering by Matt Hall.

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Pretty Lousy Bethlehem, Pennsylvania

Pretty Lousy is the DIY effort of Justin Passino, a singer/songwriter currently residing in Lehigh Valley, PA.

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